My head hurts. I slept late. One a.m. to be exact. I didn’t do any physical chores today. My left arm hurts. It started when I had this fever, third Saturday of last month. The next Saturday, it was measles. I look at the open door, the tube that shows some youngsters, dancing to the tune of some old pop hit. And I had to watch, because the tube is on, and my eyes are on, and yeah, it’s HD.
I’m reading Fight Club, watching tube shows, and FBing. Multitasking, this is. And I have these two notebooks, waiting for words. Worse of all, they wait for completion.
The New Year’s hype is all about starting all over again. Lies. They feed you with lies. Because the truth is – it’s just a feeling. “New”. Yet, as soon as Monday’s back, and we’re back at work, at school, at whatever it is we’ve been doing, we’re back at the old cycle. The clogs fit together to push the wheel, and make it move.
No. I don’t feel new. At all. And the only best thing this “new” feeling is giving me is this: I’m reminded to stay truthful to myself. I could occasionally join you in your live-hype. Yet, when I feel like I’m feeling something else, when I’m inside the ‘contrary’, I will stop wearing your hat. I will welcome that real tingling. I will listen to my instinct when it kicks the ever-beaten gong. I don’t know about you, but this is my life, my chosen path. And I intend to make the most out of it. Or I could opt for a few detours. It doesn’t have to matter if it’s me who matter … to me.