Conquering the fear of “never being good enough”


Formal education, check.  A nice decent job, check.  Roof atop the family’s head, check.  Able to eat more than three times a day, check.  These are just some of the necessities that you’ve managed to secure, achieve, obtain.  But why is it that this nagging feeling or fear of not never being good enough remains to lurk?

I’m no psychologist, but there’s just enough relevant and credible reference around the net, news and media – that points the blame to our insecurities.  That sagging level of self-esteem does a terrifically good job of destroying the things we’ve built for ourselves – education, career, professional life, name it.

Hello fear! Come in

We can’t run away from fear forever.  It’s an exhausting exercise that doesn’t really leave us fit or feeling better.  It will come to haunt us, to surprise us, to wreak havoc, to spit in our plans.  But that doesn’t mean we can’t work our way around it.  

Take my friend’s tale as an example.  He works as an essay typer at a reputable service provider.  The job, in his perspective, fits his personality: a true blood introvert (like me).  And while he loves spending long hours of thinking and writing, he loathed public speaking.

Now, take keen note that the fear of public speaking is not true or applicable for all introverts; there are those who actually excel in this field.  His fear had spawned from an unsavory debate-experience way back high school.  He couldn’t shake the after-effects of this event.  Suffice it is to say, he avoided any such school or work event that involved public speaking, even the staple introductions one does at work-related seminars (his technique entails getting late for such events).

His scheme worked for quite some time – until a recent engagement.  His boss knew about his “technique” and had resorted to telling him the wrong starting time.  The result?  He went early and with the introductions not yet commencing.

He was profusely sweating then.  But the usual introductions did not happen.  The facilitator (who was also made aware about his fear) tweaked the introductions, such that they end up introducing themselves after the first-half of the seminar.

He was well-immersed in the engagement that by the time introductions came, he was all suave.  He was at ease with himself.  In fact, he was a bit surprise to find the introductions less irksome.  The ending?  There’s no end in his story of fear; he is a work-in progress.

The best thing about it is that he learned that it was possible to speak in front of a crowd.  It’s possible to deliver interesting information about oneself.  And that it’s possible to be confident about these describing words.

Me, too 🙂

My friend’s experience is a simple but authentic tale about fear.  He used to think he’s never gonna talk it well.  He was caught in the belief that he’s never gonna be good enough to do any proper introductions (worse, public speaking).

But there are many people who would be more than willing to help you work your way around these all-consuming fear.  In his case, he had his boss and the event facilitator.  Me?  I had feared that my written work is never going to be good enough to make it to WordPress.  

Guess, I was wrong.  And I’m perfectly happy to be mistaken 🙂

One brave step led to another: yesterday, I had published my first story at the medium.com!

Do feel free to check it out 😀

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3 thoughts on “Conquering the fear of “never being good enough”

  1. Well congratulations on your published article! I enjoyed it, and also found the above posts topic something I can more than a little relate to. A fear of public speaking changed the course of my life. Not necessarily for the worse I might add, we’ll never know that, but happen it did. I love how the chap mentioned was tricked into being more comfortable with speaking to a crowd. I cannot for the life of me imagine it working for myself though. The horror is palpable for me. So yes, I get your fear, though do not have any particular worries about not being good enough at anything at all, partly because I don’t actually have to do any speaking in my profession, and partly because I am supremely fantastic at everything in the universe I turn my hand to. Including the art of modesty 😛 You must continue to write and have faith in the product that appears. Some of it’s rather good you know 😉 sonmicloud

    • Thank you sonmicloud! As always, you have nothing but kind words for this struggling new-blogger 🙂
      A host of fears – they are just one of the few things everyone share. It’s quite a pity, how fear and being fearful attracts so much stigma, though 😦

  2. Pingback: “Not good enough” | jandelaforce

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